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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

And the Thais embraced Kikayhood...

As soon as my royal feet touched Thailand soil, I promised myself that I will learn at least 30 Thai sentences before I leave. I have been here for two weeks and all I know so far are “Sa-wat-dee” (hello/goodbye) and "Korp khun" (thank you). My tongue both dislikes pronouncing Thai words and tasting Thai food!

On the otherhand, the project team we work with and the staff that went to training when I was the “teacher” now greet me every morning with “Good morning, maganda Wheng”. They also call my colleague ‘Pangit Richard’. And how would you react when you hear them say “Hay lola!” as they heave a sigh, summon you to lunch with “Kamuning! Kamuning!” (sward speak of ‘come on’) and ask “What’s the matter, peanut butter?”

This morning, Richard is learning how to say chuvanes…

Give me two more weeks and I bet they will soon learn words like chaka, cry-ola, datung, daot and andalucia!

Like a virus, I am spreading myself fast here…

Friday, November 25, 2005

I am trapped inside a prison cell without walls...

I am starting to describe this hotel-resort a beautiful prison…

It can be fun and wonderful to stay here for a few days, maybe a week at the most. But more than that… I feel constricted. As if everyday, a part of my body is being taken away from me. Like a candle with a small wick, I seem to melt slowly yet with utmost certainty.

Despite the feeling, I try to make the most of everything by making a lot of interaction with the locals, particularly the hotel staff. First, they look very similar to Filipinos –making my homesickness a bit less. Secondly, they are wonderful people – hospitable, polite, and intelligent. They may not speak fluent English, but you can feel the sincerity in what they want to convey. What they lack in communication, they make up with admirable attitude.

We had dinner at Wildfire Restaurant fronting the hotel entrance along the beach. I had not only the best meal in the last 9 days, but also the funniest conversation with the staff. I learned that almost everyone in the hotel thought at first that I was Thai. This made me smile. A smile that not only stretched my facial muscles but also swelled my heart a bit. Yes, why not? I can be Thai, maybe I would love to be Thai.

Unlike in Manila, where most of the staff give extra attention only to “obvious foreigners”, these people welcomed me in the hotel like a queen….the same way they welcomed Tom, Dick and Harry.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

This paradise looks like a barren field...

Now I know how it is to be in a place many would dub as paradise without anyone dear to hold. There is nothing worst than feeling empty while everyone scrambles for enriching stories they can share sevenfold over.

As glorious sunsets draw shadows on my face, I yearn for you to plant little kisses on my forehead. Indeed there is no place more beautiful and placid than the one where the most important person in your life can sit with you so quietly you can hear leaves hitting the fertile soil as they fall.

I would rather be in a middle of a chaotic wet market than stay amidst this haven without you…

Monday, June 27, 2005

Showering Shower Parties

A friend is getting married and Im being invited to attend the shower party for her.
I did have one for myself three weeks before I got hitched. It was a surprise shower cum stag party for both J and I as we share a common group of friends, having gone to the same university with the same degree (Almost. J finished electronics and communications eng'g). Anyway, it was a memorable one sans the strip teasers and kinky games, because towards the end of the night, the only sober people were J and I.


So I did not have an idea of a real shower party until I attended one two years ago. It was for a colleague who was getting married to another colleague. The organizers were close friends and co-departments of the bride-to-be. Of course where else would we hold the event but in the hotel where we all work. Better make use of the employee rate. Heehee...

I was invited to join, together with a dozen more ladies (married, separated, single, it didn't matter). So up we went to one of our One-Bedroom Suites, had some finger foods and a little booze. Little did I know that the organizers hired a strip teaser (male, of course!) to entertain not only the blushing bride-to-be, but her even more blushing (and screaming) friends.

Let's call the guy ST, acronym for Strip Teaser. ST looked handsomely shy as he peeped through the bedroom door to "assess" his audience. He looked around carefully and thoughtfully. I imagined him putting invisible post-its on top of each of our heads, marking who to lap dance with, whom to flirt excessively, whom to show his "little boy blue". Hahaha. I bet he thought when he saw me : "that innocent-looking girl in black suit must be single, shy and will shriek as hell when I let her touch my ..umm..you know..."

Naaahh..
Innocent-looking = yes;
Single = No;
Shy = yes;
Will shriek as hell = It depends on the commodity!
Hahaha! (sorry, I couldn't stop laughing).


First Act :

ST was wearing a white tight shirt and super tight (like he tried to fit into a shorts three sizes smaller) denim shorts. He was of course bare-footed. I couldn't remember what the music was, or maybe the music drowned with all the screams and whoaaas and what have you! I looked around the room and made a quick survey. Ha! The single ladies were all grinning and at the edge of their seats, while the married ones (there were a handful of us) looked a bit shy but were smiling mischievously. Then, ST started getting near one lady at a time... he's dancing like a snake coming down from a coconut tree. Not at all fascinating. But boy, he's cute, and he smells good. Sweet and good. I remember wishing he won't go near me or dance in front of me... (else I will lose my chance later - I was told that he'll be wearing less and less as we progress). Hihihi.

Second Act :

Out came ST, clad in skimpy black bikini briefs, dancing to the tune of Paint My Love by Michael Learns to Rock. Just recalling this makes me laugh like crazy that I already have forgotten whom he danced to and how. But I vividly recall his undies' waistband has the trademark BENCH embroidered in bold white letters. Such admirable brand loyalty! I like that...

Third and Final Act :

This was my favorite part of the event. The third and final act. The part where ST was supposed to be wearing absolutely nothing but his perfume. Okay, so there we were eagerly waiting (and wailing) for ST. What's taking him long??? One colleague explained that he needs to 'prepare' himself...whatever that means, you guess. Finally, ST emerged to his awaiting audience, who by the way showed both enthusiasm and disappointment. Disappointed because he was covered with a white towel, enthusiastic because we knew the towel eventually has to so...somehow...hmm. More dramatic eh!

So he danced, playfully and gracefully, sometimes touching himself here and there, something that made me grimaced a little. I suddenly felt a surge of sadness for him.. how could one muster the courage to do this in front of so many people? All for money? What about his self-worth, self-esteem, dignity... I was in the middle of my thoughtful and righteous realization when I found ST suddenly on top of a chair in front of me and engulfed me inside his white towel and...whoaaa...I freaked out! Freaked out in a nice way, actually. Hahahaha. Hypocrite! (Did I hear you shout at me?)

So the night ended with us guests, happier and more amused than the celebrant. I remember the only "kinky" thing she did was to eat the p***s-shaped cake we bought her.

Now, will i attend this bridal shower I was being invited to? Hmmm... I'll give it a thought.

What's your guess???

Saturday, June 25, 2005

What is your ice cream flavour?

I came across this funny quiz website and took one of their personality quizzes...


Your Icecream Flavour is...
Choc-Chip Cookie Dough!
You are fancy shmancy! You have all the bells and whistles and you attract the most gluttonous of ice-cream shop patrons. You are fattening and intensely rich. That being said, you are very tasty and have a huge fanbase! good for you!

So Im 'choc-chip cookie dough'. Very true down to the very last letter. Hahaha.
'Very tasty and have a huge fanbase.' (I read this line twice to make sure the word that follows huge is not waistline...LOL)

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

Friday, June 24, 2005

The Murder Committed by Brad Pitt

It was July when Brad Pitt captured my heart. He was with seven or more companions, all equally stunning, but it was his brown hair and hazel eyes that caught my fancy. When I held out my hands and he eagerly took them, that did it. I fell in love with him without any effort, right that moment, within nanoseconds.

Then one beautiful afternoon in August, just a week before my birthday, he became officially mine.

Like all relationships, there are friends and relatives who object of us being together. They keep saying I will lose him in no time, that it's going to be difficult being with him, that I couldn't match his strength of character, that him and I are two worlds apart. Blah, blah, blah...

Of course I did not give him up. Although Brad has become a challenge to my budgeting wizardry, always demanding & endlessly eager to go out, he never fails to make me smile. But boy, he gets jealous. Extremely jealous of almost everything...including my girl-friends!

I have to admit that although he owns a temper of a chili pepper, lacks table manners and snores loudly at night, I love my Brad nonetheless. I have vested upon him my absolutely- non-negotiable trust. Last night, however, my tower of confidence in his kindness all came crashing down.


Brad murdered my friend, Mini.

I arrived home and found Mini lying dead on a vacant lot beside our house. Maria, our new maid was the sole witness to the crime. She was badly shaking as she (almost) tearfully narrated how Brad slowly lacerated Mini's throat. She said she tried to stop Brad but he wouldn't listen. He let go of Mini only when she's no longer moving.

Immediately, I searched for Brad to confront him. At the back of my head I kind'a expected and imagined him to be wary and guilty of what he did. Instead he welcomed me with a straight face, almost ready for a confrontation.

"How could you have done this?" I asked. Brad only stared at me. "You are so bad!" Nothing again. Just a blank stare, only now Brad looked guilty. "Didn't I tell you to be nice to my friends?"

Exhausted that I wasn't gettig any decent response, I just heaved a sigh. All I could muster last night was a sigh. I have a murderer in my house, and I cannot throw him out. Can't because despite what he did, he is still mine.

Brad needs me, and will most probably die without someone to look after him. So despite this morbid criminal act, Brad was forgiven and welcomed back into my loving arms.

Oh by the way, Brad Pitt is the name of my pitbull.

And Mini (short for Mini-Dimsum) is the little sister of the village cat, Dimsum.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Gruesome Dimsum

As I was coming out of my carpark this morning, I almost ran over a semi-stray cat. Semi-stray because nobody officially owns him. He's being fed, sheltered (sometimes) by neighbors, our village security guards and by me. By the way, the cat's name is Dimsum.

Who in the world would name a cat Dimsum? Hahaha.

You guessed it right... it's no other than the perpetually mischievous me.

When I was a child (physically - I know I still act like one sometimes), nobody and absolutely nothing in this universe can make me eat any dimsum especially siopao (white bun with meat fillings). I was once told and have heard of stories about cats being butchered to make the delicious filling.

Apparently, there's a popular restaurant in Quezon City that sells the stuff. And hey, it comes in two kinds : Special or Regular. It was said that the feline's head, which is supposedly the most tasty part, will be chopped to crunchy little pieces, then mixed with ground pork and salted egg to produce the famous "Special" siopao. Then the rest of the body will be turned into “ground kitty”, mixed with pork, soy sauce and other ingredients and viola, you have the "Regular".

So there...Dimsum, the village cat, reminds me so much of "Special or Regular"!

Now you have to excuse me, I have to throw up...

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Killer Instinct

I am a very passionate person...passionate in everything I do... and today I am passionately ANGRY!

A lot of times I feel dumb, like my head is just an empty shell - as in empty. Because how could an intelligent person such as myself (haha, sorry - correct me if Im wrong...but please, DONT) can allow all these nonsense, bitchy, motherf&%#!s to treat me like this???

I often say when I am really mad that if only I can kill this person (object of my fury) today and resurrect him tomorrow, I will have no second thoughts of slicing his throat with a bread knife.


Take note: A BREAD KNIFE.

Really wicked, am I? Sometimes I have a knack for atrocity... but damn, only in thoughts... I wish I could put my creative musings on brutality into action someday. Hmmm. Now I am having criminal tendencies.

But on the otherhand, why would I kill him if I want him alive tomorrow???

Arrggghhh!! I am too soft...way softer than I think. I am the type of person who never learns...
I never learn (and would never learn) that :


1. No amount of sincere kindness and even love can make a person stop from taking advantage of me
2. People are naturally good, but there a few who can turn out to be really really evil
3. Some people find happiness in making other people sad
4. The person who gossip to me will gossip of me
5. Some people are born lucky BUT some people are born CHEATERS!
6. I cannot stop friends from forgetting my birthday, forgetting my number, and forgetting ME


Can somebody pass me a box of tissues???

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Say Cheese!

We had our management team photoshoot last Friday at the Crowne Plaza. So I parked my colorful, cheerful suits for a day for an all-black number, went to the salon to have my hair and nails done (okay, okay, nails can't be seen in the shoot...but what the heck, I want a buff ok?) and applied more than my usual make-up.

The individual shots went smoothly, at least for some of us who are so used to 'shoots'... It was hilarious though, watching my colleagues try so darn hard to have a natural "toothpaste commercial' smile which they have to carry for at least 15 poses! We were like fashion models for a day!

The fun part was during the group shots - of course with the GM. During the last shot where all employees of the soon-to-open hotel was about to be taken, I almost fell off the stairs when he started giving instructions to the photographer and reshuffed all of us. I thought he wants to arrange us according to height, or department or ...hmmm..skin color???

What all the others didn't know was in between the loud commands, GM whispered to the photog:

"Put all the ugly girls and boys at the back"
"Focus your shots on those wearing uniforms, all the others, they are just....people!"

Hahaha! Good thing I was placed in front... Duh! All I can say is...Cheese!

Friday, June 17, 2005

Wait!

The "sign" I have been praying and waiting for have been sent by God, finally...

It's a clear No.

Or wait...I mean, maybe God is saying WAIT.

A friend (I can't remember who...hahaha! ironic, I call this person a friend yet couldn't remember who he/she is..) once told me that when you pray for something and it's not granted, it doesn't mean that the answer is NO. Maybe God is telling you to wait....

...Wait because He has a better plan...

Ahhh...patience is a virtue.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Ants-i-biotic

There are a lot of black ants in my house. Near the kitchen door, at the wall beside the fridge, on the floor across the living to the dining room...

Old folks in the province believe that black ants bring good luck, making me put off thrice the "extermination" schedule. So everytime I would open the fridge, I would see these black tiny voluntary slaves making their way up to the ceiling. They usually traverse in straight line, carrying with them microscopic food or treasures perhaps. As they pass by each other, they would stop for a microsecond and touch heads before moving on. Could they be whispering to one another? I wonder what they tell each other during that split second encounters?

My guesses:

* Ant politics
* Lottery tips
* Latest ant showbiz gossip
* Updates on the Michael Jackson child molestation trial
* The queen ant's new boyfriend
* Sweetest part of the dead cockroach's body

:-) Whhaaaa! Im just feeling silly.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

What's so good about drinking cold, stale-bitter coffee?

Sixteen past seven in the evening at the office and I am drinking brewed coffee from breakfast. Eeewww...

You can 'eeewww' all you want for all I care. Cold coffee is good. For the overused brain, for the aching heart, for the crying soul, for the about-to-explode pent up anger of a frustrated as hell employee.

Give me some more coffee, maybe coffee from yesterday...I need to load up to keep my sanity.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

California Maki

Just came from a training, teambuilding, and relaxation rolled into one california maki. What have I learned ?

- A movie can be interpreted in a thousand different versions
- It's interesting to watch people watch a love scene (..hehehe..evil, evil grin!)
- Richard Gere was a hunk in his twenties...with abs, butt and all. :-)
- it's fun to WATCH my colleagues get drunk while I sip coffee at 3PM
- "My Way" can be sung in four different tunes and beat
- Girlie bar and a meat shop are one and the same for a French Chef..

INTERESTING QUOTES FROM OUR GM:

- Always begin with an end in mind.
- When you complain to a friend and he tells you you are right...cover your ears!
- When a friend or colleague comes to you with a problem, run away! (and run fast...LOL)
- What will happen if you don't help the poor? They will attack you!
- You are 110 percent correct!

Friday, May 27, 2005

Too old to blog yet young enough not to care

Why am i having a blog again? I don't know. My last entry in my old, semi-filled, boring blog was in June 2002.

Oh well, it's always good to start something new from something old.

Ha! Goodluck to me...
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