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Monday, May 19, 2008

Adults Say The Darnest Things

When I was a kid, I lived with my maternal grandma. Being the first and only grandchild then , I was very energetic, bratty (there, I finally admitted) and stubborn. Desperate to make me obey her orders or follow her words, my Lola would come up with all sorts of stories.

All grown-up now and 95% less gullible, I realized it was so foolish of me to believe these eccentric stories; that there are several variations to each and; that children from all walks of life have been told one or more of these tales.

It makes me laugh now because I know we all have, somehow, at one point, been duped!

1. When a child refuses to eat, during the night his soul will get hungry. It will get out of his body and scan through the pots in the kitchen, hoping to find a meal. Once the soul is able to open a pot, he will get in and eat. Then, early in the morning the maid will put back the pot cover thereby effectively trapping the child's soul until it suffocates to death.

2. When you get wounded and you refuse to have it cleaned and treated, all the food you eat will come out of that wound (yes, even your favorite chicken lollipop!)

Or if you scratch the now-healing-so-it-is-itchy-wound, a train will come out of it.
wonder, is it the MRT?).

Another variation is that a priest will come out of the wound. I certainly hope it's not the Pope!

3. The most effective way to prevent a child from swallowing seeds when eating fruits is to
warn him that the seed will grow inside his tummy and leaves will sprout out of his ears.

4. Dont bathe after 3PM (the time of Jesus' death) on Good Friday. I will be as if
you are bathing with the blood of Christ.

5. When there is a drizzle and the sun is shining warm and bright, it means there's a
tikbalang (half horse, half man) being wed to a (not necessarily pretty) human. Children should not go out and play to keep the wedding solemn.

6. The first time a girl gets her period, she should wipe her face with her (bloodied)
panties or else pimples will grow all over her face. Very, very unhygienic! I think this was 'invented' by a man!

7. If you sleep with a wet hair (or right after bathing), you'll be blind when you wake up. (Why can't they just say that if we sleep with a wet hair, the pillow will get wet! LOL)

8. If you skip a meal, your large intestine will eat your small intestines.

So, what fooled you when you were little?


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