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Monday, May 30, 2011

10 Commandments of a Sosyalera Wannabe

We see them in malls, most of the time in pairs or in groups, comparing notes on how to perfect the ‘elite’ look. We know they’re trying hard to get IN, to appear rich (maybe they are) and belong to the alta de cuidad.

Thing is (and this is what amazes me), those rich fellas look and smell rich even if they wear ragged, crumpled outfits. Their aura screams money, luxury and class without them making any effort at all.

Have a stroll around Greenbelt and play ‘Spot the Ostentatiously Wealthy’ and I bet you won’t go wrong. They just stand out, don’t they?

The difference with the wannabe and the authentic sosyalera is that the former unknowingly keep doing what the latter will never or seldom do.

Here are 10 tips:

1. Thou shall not buy fake bags, shoes, jeans and other luxury items. It's better to own an original LB (Leonardo Bag) than a carry around a fake LV.

2. Thou shall not use another sosyalera's name in vain. Social climbing is a no-no.

3. Thou shall not speak carabao English. Tagalog is acceptable, you know.

4. Remember to take a bath everyday.

5. Honor thy Visa and thy Mastercard (because it's jologs to get disapproved at the cashier when shopping)

6. Thou shall not pick thy nose in public. If thou really must, thou shall not use thy thumb.

7. Thou shall not ‘wear’ thy cellphone, iPad, iPod, beeper, and laptop all at the same time. A true sosi wouldn’t be caught carrying more than 2 of these, or a personal assistant carries the gadgets for them.

8. Thou shall not use ring tones such as How Do I Live or Habang May Buhay on thy cell phone.

9. Thou shall not bear false claims that thou possess the latest Prada bag.

10. Thou shall not covet their neighbors’ imported goods. It’s not so sohshal if what thy wear is from thy neighbor’s sampayan.

How about you? Are you sohshal?

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