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Saturday, January 21, 2012

Letting Daddy Drive

The Hubby embarked on a new role before the last quarter of 2011 started. It was something we prayed for, but didn't expect so much as not to get disappointed in case it didn't happen. But the good Lord understood our hearts' desires and He granted our prayers.

That role requires that The Hubby takes a mid-day/midnight shift which means we can no longer do our usual carpooling going to work and of course sleeping together with the kids. Family meals on weekdays are now a thing of the past unless we have breakfast together - something we need to work on in order to catch up and have a real conversation (not through FB, YM or SMS).

Looking back during our first 2 years of marriage, we had the same dilemma of having opposite time schedules, and back then it really put a strain on our relationship. I'll fetch him at 8am from his office and he'll drive me to the hotel where I used to work. Then in the evening, he'll pick me up and then I'll drive him to work before going home. Seems a pretty smooth arrangement at first but the demands of our careers made it impossible to keep up and leave the office at the exact time we wanted.

Thankfully, we survived that phase and by the time we have kids he was already on permanent day shift. Permanent day until everything changed again last year.


Now for the second time, I found myself getting the hang of having dinner alone and driving all by myself.  It's also a challenge discussing about household stuff, the children's activities and our own plans as we either have wait for an opportune time to sit down and talk or take advantage of technology to keep everything about our family running smoothly. Putting the kids to bed at night is also one tough routine I still wasn't able to put in place as they obey their Dad more than me. I guess that's where majority of the difficulty sets in.

On a positive note, the adjustment seems bearable because I have little ones who make the transition with me. In fact, it's the kids who need getting used to having no Daddy at night.

Truth to be told, I actually like the new schedule now if only for the sake of the children. Although The Hubby is pretty much asleep the whole day and suffice it to say, er, 'useless', it's still good that there's at least one parent in the house with the children. It kinda minimizes the worries of leaving behind the children solely to the care of the nannies. I no longer call home to check every now and then if the children have been fed,  bathed or if anyone came or called. Somehow I feel secured that Daddy is home just in case.

I guess that's the most important factor of all and the reason why we welcome this change (aside from the career move) even if as husband and wife this setup isn't too ideal. From my point of view, the children's welfare must take the center stage at all times, non-negotiable.

I am treating this phase like a car ride where I am happy to take the passenger seat and let The Hubby drive, if that what it takes to keep order at home and at the same time let The Hubby's career take another leap. (Anyway, I am a good backseat driver).

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