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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Wanted : Private Tutor?

We recently received the good news that our daughter will be skipping Senior Casa and has been accelerated to Grade 1. Of course The Hubby and I (the grannies and aunts too!) are very proud that despite her age she'd be starting elementary education this coming school year.

her last class picture as a pre-schooler...aw, I thought she'd have one as
Senior Casa too, but we're certainly not complaining!

But as a mother, it doesn't end with just being happy and proud for my child. I am also concerned now of her readiness physically and emotionally for the sudden leap. For sure her school hours will be longer and she needs to be more diligent with school work. Modesty aside, we never had problems with Eone doing her homework and other take-home lessons as she likes to 'study' more as soon as she gets home (although towards the end of the school year she seemed to got tired of it and wants more TV time).

Honestly, what worries me more is actually ME not having enough time to assist her during the transition period come June. We have a new baby coming who would need a pretty good chunk of time feeding, changing nappies and putting to sleep. It will be grueling for me sleep-wise so I wonder how will I manage with tutoring my little girl. Admittedly, we haven't been really serious with reviewing her for quizzes and mastery tests before. The Hubby and I didn't want to put too much pressure on her for fear she might get tired of school early and quit - 'It's just pre school, anyway' is what we often said.

A few friends suggested getting the services of private tutors and I am seriously considering the option. I did not have any tutor when I was in school so I am not sure what qualities to look for. My mom was a former teacher and did her stint as private tutor so I am certain she'd be offering her two-cents worth on this topic. Darling Sister too, had done some tutoring jobs in the past so maybe I'll ask her inputs too.

My concerns about home or private tutoring are more like matching the tutor with my daughter. Eone typically follows a person with authority but it may not be the case when she's at the comfort of our home. The tutor needs to have truckloads of patience and a bag full of answers to 'where did that come from?' questions.  Can I demand for a tutor with a knack for art, baking and story-telling too? Someone who likes cartoons and Disney Princess would be a bonus too. Preparation-wise, we would need to set aside a quiet place for studying, away from distractions (from TV and the internet!) and definitely from her playful brother.

Anyway, we still have 2 months to scout for that perfect private tutor, if ever we will hire one. Otherwise, the toll will be on me and I better prepare myself for the inevitable screaming and threatening and toy-deprivation tactics. May God help me.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

What If My Son Grows Up To Be Gay?

It's fun to watch when our children dress up and do role play. Eone often pretends she is a princess, wears make up and a tiara. Sometimes she'd pretend she's a teacher and reprimand me or give me instructions similar to perhaps how her teachers in school are doing it.

As for my Enoe, he is inclined to follow or imitate what his sister is doing like wear headbands, play Barbie doll house and sometimes insist on trying Ate's dress too. It's something The Hubby absolutely disapproves and even warns the nannies that he doesn't like his son playing dolls and other girly stuff. Not that he hates gay, I think he just rather have a son who'd someday marry and spread his genes. Whatever.

from http://rhmfoundation.org/

Both The Hubby and I have gay friends who we love dearly. I think gays are one of the funniest, creative and hardworking people I've met. They are also the most loving. In fact, I believe if reincarnation is indeed true, I was gay previously. No doubt, eh?

But really what if my son turns out to be gay? What will I do? I've been asked this question a dozen times, although often candidly or in jest. My answers were also in the form of a joke like if my son turns out to be gay, I'll build him a beauty salon.

Seriously, what will I do? Nothing.

Yes, seriously. What can a mother do? I'll be disappointed, of course. But my next move will be to love him. In fact I will love him even more - because I know this world could be cruel to individuals who prefer the 'other side'.

I will be more understanding and caring and maybe even supportive because I know he will be judged, frowned at, discriminated and laughed at because of his sexual preference, regardless if he turns out to be a responsible, kind and good citizen.

If my son turns out to be gay, I will be a fairy gay mother. He will do my hair, accompany me to the nail salon and help me choose my wardrobe. We will go shopping together, watch romantic flicks and travel to the ends of the earth. He will still be my son and I will be forever be his mom or mudak, mudrakels, madir, or whatever he wants to call me.

I will be his adviser. I will tell him not to let men control his life, never buy them expensive gifts, or cellphone load or send them to school. I will teach him to accept what he is and yet still be able to earn the respect of people around him. I won't tolerate cross-dressing nor implants but heck, I might change my mind, who knows?

Bottomline is, regardless of how or what my children choose to become, I will remain steadfast in loving them. I guess that's how it is when we become a mother; we instantly possess the magic of unconditional love.

(But dear God, he is my only boy and I pray he will grow up straight, take up sports and like women the way real men do).

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Someone's Going on a Trip (and it's not Me)

Images of Brazil by Alex Uchoa

The Hubby is going to Brazil on a business trip this weekend and as early as last week, I am already both excited and worried. Excited because it's been a while since his last business trip and this is also his first travel after he took his new role at work. I am also worried because I am not the 'disciplinarian' at home and I am unsure how the kids will take it being 'daddy-less' for 2 weeks.

When it was just The Hubby and I, we welcome traveling for work like prize from a lottery. It's a chance to explore other countries without shelling out dollars from our own pocket (at least the airfare, hotel and food). However, when we became parents, sending The Hubby or I to a business trip meant carefully planning both our schedules, activities and the household.

I recall when Eone was still a baby; I traveled extensively - almost monthly and on 2 weeks stints. It was difficult because aside from the fact that I miss my child, I also take care of the household 'remotely'. All bills need to be settled before I leave, or if they are enrolled in online payment, then I must ensure they are paid on time. I have to do groceries good for the entire time that I'll be away because The Hubby wouldn't know what to get from the supermarket even if his life depends on it.

Anyway, I wonder when we will be able to travel together again - I mean, The Hubby and I, just the two of us. Our past vacations overseas and even locally were all with the children (plus nannies to keep us sane). We were actually planning a getaway in Bangkok but then I got preggy and we had to shelve the plan 'til this little angel I am about to deliver is at least half a year old (so we can leave the kids to my Mom to look after). I know The Hubby wants to go on luxury tours for years now, specifically Europe. Although he's been to The Netherlands, Germany and France before - he's always aspired to go back to Europe for a grand holiday, and it better be with me. And because I am a hopeless romantic, Eiffel Tower would be my first stop if I were to go Paris and I'll tell this to our France travel agent now, haha, (that is if I have one).

I sometimes wonder when he speaks of luxury tours, what does he really want? Does it mean staying in expensive hotels, dining at the best restaurants and of course visiting tourist spots? Maybe he meant traveling sans the group tours organized by travel agencies that leave travelers very little time for sight-seeing. Don't we all hate that? - being hurried to complete our photo sessions just so the group can proceed and take the tourist to a shopping mall? Bleh.

For me, traveling itself on a holiday is already a luxury - more like a privilege especially for parents like us whose world (and budget) practically revolves around the children. Actually, we have a trip to Palawan scheduled in June. It was supposed to happen last January but as mentioned earlier, we got blessed with another baby and I don't want to take that Underwater River cruise with a 24-week tummy. So moved to June it was. (Nope, we can't postpone any longer as our tickets from PAL expires June 2012). I don't know if that's good or bad because it means leaving behind my little Eana only at one month old. I hope I won't feel guilty as hell.

I will leave my worrying about that Palawan trip and for now focus on organizing The Hubby's things for his trip. Gotta help him with his packing - from listing down what he needs to bring to actually putting them in his luggage. Hah! Isn't he one hell of a lucky man? :)
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